Holly'sWorld2.0

December 29, 2025 (Gregorian calendar/Day 362)
Monday, 20 Tahsas 2018 (Ethiopian calendar/4th month)
Pagrīym (Pagrim) םירגפ 6 (Enochian calendar/10th month/Corpses of plants)
December 27, 2025 (International Fixed calendar)
Rhythmic Moon 6, Gamma 17 (13 Moon calendar/first quarter moon)
~ Rhythmic Lizard Moon of Equality, December 13th – January 9th
Birch Moon: December 24 – January 20 (Celtic 13 Month calendar/1st month)
Day 10, 10th lunation at 68-78%, 6012 (lunisolar calendar)
13.0.13.3.16 2 Cib 14 K’ank’in (Mayan Long Count calendar)
Still Need To Do Day, Tick Tock Day

“Why didn’t you leave?”
It sounds like a simple question.
But it reveals more about their inexperience
than your choices.

People who ask this have never lived in a reality where:
– love and fear came from the same person
– safety was unpredictable
– survival depended on staying small, quiet, adaptable
– consequences were worse than the discomfort
– leaving meant losing everything, not gaining freedom

They’ve never tasted the cognitive dissonance
of being hurt by someone who also met your basic needs.
Of being controlled by someone you loved.
Of rationalizing behavior because the alternative was unthinkable.
Of hoping they’d change because the cost of accepting the truth
would have shattered your world.

They don’t understand that psychological captivity
doesn’t look like chains —
it looks like confusion.
It looks like self-blame.
It looks like isolation.
It looks like believing chaos is normal
because it’s the only language you were ever taught.

Trauma bonds are powerful.
Fear conditioning is powerful.
Emotional manipulation is powerful.
Attachment is powerful.

And children?
Children never “leave.”
Children survive.

Adults in abusive dynamics aren’t weak.
They’re conditioned.
They’re exhausted.
They’re afraid.
They’re invested.
They’re trauma-trained to prioritize someone else’s emotions
over their own life.

Leaving is not an event —
it is a psychological awakening.
It requires clarity, safety, resources, support,
and a nervous system that finally stops freezing long enough
to recognize the threat.

You didn’t stay because you were foolish.
You stayed because you were surviving
with the tools you had at the time.

And you left — or you are leaving —
the moment your mind and body
finally had enough support
to walk toward something better.

You don’t owe anyone an explanation.
Not for the years you stayed.
Not for the moment you left.
Not for the complexity in between.

Here’s the truth they don’t understand:

You weren’t staying out of weakness.
You were staying out of fear, conditioning, and hope —
the most human combination there is.

The fact that you eventually chose yourself
is the proof of your strength.

~ theSelf

…for me, I couldn’t leave – this is my home! I have lived here since I was 13 years old. No matter what I did I could not get him to leave, until that fatal day.

At one point I asked him if he was claiming squatters rights…he smirked and said no. It wasn’t until my son and I packed our bags, put our coats and shoes on and were ready to walk out the door that he realized I was serious. Either he left, or my son and I left. I even threatened to sign over the deed to him. Of course it was a threat, one I knew he wouldn’t take me up on. He didn’t care about me or the property/house, not really. What he cared about was how he looked! The prestige that came from being attached to me.

I knew that for a long time, but I couldn’t get him to acknowledge that there was a problem. His part of the relationship was built on nothing but a lie. Even after several weeks of no contact he still thought I would allow him to come back.

hope you have a great day!
thanks for stopping by!!