remembering my dad


March 17, 2025 (Gregorian calendar)
Monday, Megabit 8, 2017 (Ethiopian calendar/7th month)
Hayir/Hayr 30 (Enochian calendar/12th month)
March 20, 2025 (International Fixed calendar)
Solar Moon 9 ~ Day 11 (13-Moon Natural Time calendar)
Day 18 ~ 13th lunation at 92-86%, 6011 (lunisolar calendar)
13.0.12.7.9ย ย ย Tzolk’in:ย 1ย Mulukย ย ย Haab:ย 12ย kumk’uย ย ย Night Lord: Gย 5 (Mayan calendar/long count)
Camp Fire Girls Day ~ Act Happy Day

Today marks the 8th anniversary of the passing of my dad…

If you ever wonder why I’m bulletproof
it’s because of you
did you know I love this hard
because of you
and I’ve been learning
it’s a journey
as I’m walking in your shoes
I’ll pass along all of your lessons

lyrics (in full):

Mama, who would let you down?
Who made you think you weren’t enough
And filled your soul with doubt?
And dad, I needed you around
But what you needed was some space to figure yourself out

Would you go back and do it the same?
Did regret make you wanna change?
Misunderstood, under appreciated
But

Did you know I love this hard because of you?
And I’ve been learning it’s a journey, as I’m walking in your shoes
I’ll pass along all of your lessons
Took some time but I got your message
If you ever wonder why I’m bulletproof
It’s all because of you

Oh I, I wish that I could say
I was the picture-perfect sister when you needed me
And we might see it differently
But now we’re old enough to know that we both made mistakes

I’d go back and do it the same
Guess I’m good at takin’ the blame
Misunderstood, underappreciated
But

Did you know I love this hard because of you?
And I’ve been learnin’ it’s a journey, as I’m walkin’ in your shoes
I’ll pass along all of your lessons
Took some time but I got your message
If you ever wonder why I’m bulletproof
It’s all because of you

Did you know I love this hard because of you?
And I’ve been learnin’ it’s a journey, as I’m walkin’ in your shoes
I’ll pass along all of your lessons
Took some time but I got your message
If you ever wonder why I’m bulletproof
It’s all because of you
Mm-hmm

Written by: Richard Beynon, Jamie Fine, Sara Diamond, Avital Margulies, Tiernan Maddock Kelly
Album: if this is it… – E.P.
Released: 2024

This really does describe my family relationship…there really is none. I don’t speak to my sister anymore – haven’t since the fall of 2017. She accused me of manipulating my dad, which I did not do – but she was hurting. She is the only one to blame – she made decisions and my dad made his. It’s really as simple as that, whether she believes it or not.

But…I have moved on.
I wouldn’t do anything differently.

This is a day to remember my dad – I guess remembering my sister and what she did and didn’t do is part of it, but I’m not dwelling on it.

There’s a lot of songs I could post – Daddy’s Hands is one that always comes to mind, but I was scrolling through FB, came across this song and bawled my eyes out. It was in a reel, and originally only heard the part that I copied in the beginning. The rest of it makes sense, but that one stanza really hit me.

Everything that happens to us in life makes or is a part of who we are today…our parents play a big role in that.

hope you have a great day!
thanks for stopping by!!

Responses

  1. Willie Torres Jr. Avatar

    I’m so sorry for your loss. Your dadโ€™s impact on you is clearly profound, and itโ€™s beautiful to see how you’ve carried his lessons with you. I pray for comfort and peace over you, and that God continues to heal your heart. I know it doesnโ€™t get any easier, but I trust that His love will continue to surround you during this time of reflection. You are in my thoughts and prayers. ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿ’–

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Willie Torres Jr. Avatar

        Of course ๐Ÿค—๐Ÿค—

        Liked by 1 person

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