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5 ways a narcissist can’t control themselves

Few understand narcissism is related to the how’s grandiosity, entitlement, lack of empathy as always deliberate. Unfortunately, most of these actions aren’t even within the narcissist’s control. They turn into habitual defenses that structure their life in the world. Below are five universal ways narcissists can’t control themselves:

1. Expressing Entitlement Rather than Gratitude

Narcissists are owed thanks. Thanking them implies that they are in debt to you, and that destroys the superiority complex. So they respond in terms of entitlement rather than thanks.

Such as: you go without, you do without, you do anything for them and a thank you is substituted with a flip, “Nobody asked you to do this.” They will turn it around on you, too, and get you to feel bad for mentioning it. In their head, they deserve your effort just because of their position in your life spouse, parent, sibling, friend.

2. Frustrating With Affection.

It takes openness, vulnerability, and sensitivity to another’s emotional needs in order to express love. Narcissists generally don’t make it here. Even if they realize that their loved one requires comforting, there is something within them that resists. They might want to hug, but their head gets in the way. With time, emotionally withholding hurts relationships.

3. Not Expressing Love.

It pains to say, but most narcissists can’t love truly even children. Love has to be unselfish, patient, and genuine, things difficult to maintain with the disorder making them inwards focused. Children, particularly, need tangible demonstrations of love and vulnerability, yet it offends narcissists to do so.

4. Avoidance of Vulnerability.

To a narcissist, weakness means vulnerability. They’re afraid that if they let their guard down, it will be turned against them because really, that’s what they would do to other people. This kind of cycle will have them shutting down emotionally, having trouble letting go of who they are, and keeping defenses up.

5. Resisting Introspection

Facing inward is horrifying for a person with narcissistic tendencies. Reflection requires being faced with harsh realities, old scars, or self-sabotaging habits. Rather, most will run from it at any cost. They’d rather project out blame others, divert attention than potentially discover something about themselves that they hate.

~ quora

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