Holly'sWorld2.0

August 31, 2026 (Gregorian calendar/8th month/Day 242)
Monday, 25 Nehase 2018 (Ethiopian calendar/12th month)
Ṣaḥḥīym (Tsahim) 9צחים (Enochian calendar/6th month/Shining of sun)
~ Dan is born
19 August, 2026 (International Fixed calendar)
Lunar Moon, Seli 9 (13 Moon calendar/2nd month/Waning Gibbous Moon)
~ Lunar Scorpion Moon of Challenge, August 23rd – September 19th
Hazel Moon: August 5 – September 1 (Celtic 13 Month Tree calendar/9th month)
Month of the end of Fruit Moon…Ga lo ni i (Cherokee Moon)
wasutoa wi: moon of the ripening (Lakota Moon)
13.0.13.16.1 13 Imix 14 Mol (Mayan Long Count calendar)
we love memoirs day

What is life after a narcissist?

Hard. You think it’ll get better but the hard truth is this… (when I say “you will feel” I’m going based off of what me and many other survivors have said)… You will have to grieve years, and years (personally for me 12 plus years) of grieving something amid someone that never existed. The relationship was never real. Your love. Your feelings, were. It feels like you are grieving a death. The person you were with. The relationship you were in, none of it was real. This was/still is the hardest part in my opinion (besides the going no contact).

You will feel exhausted. An exhaustion that you’ll never believe existed. For the first time in YEARS. I slept, but it wasn’t a restful sleep, it was finally because I wasn’t in fight or fight, all day, everyday, all night, every night. I could never sleep, wondering what he was doing. Who he was with. If he was alive (towards the end he was using hard drugs) it was an exhaustion that felt like I was dying. When you fully go no contact, like none at all, you will understand the exhaustion I’m talking about. It’s an exhaustion that feels like you haven’t slept in years because many of us literally haven’t been able to.

You will have flash backs. You will trust no one and be so unhappy. You will notice your face ages rapidly. You will feel like a shell of a being. You won’t know who you are. You won’t feel happiness, or relief…YET. Your bank account is probably drained. You’ll be broke. Emotionally, spiritually, mentally, physically.

BUT HEAR ME OUT.

I am just being brutally honest, this is why we go back, this is why we break the no contact. You feel like you’re going through a tremendous physical withdrawal. Due to the MONTHS, YEARS, DECADES YOUR BODY HAS BEEN IN FIGHT OR FLIGHT. YOU’VE PROBABLY BEEN RIDDLED WITH CHRONIC ILLNESS, PAIN, ANXIETY. I am only 3 months no contact, we have 2 children, he threw them in the dumpster, lit the dumpster on fire, and walked away without looking back, he didn’t put up a fight for them, not even a fake one. Not one ounce of remorse. He threw them, and 13 years of our childrens and I’s belongings – EVERYTHING our children and I had, threw it away, he got multiple supplies. Stays high on supply, working out the 25 other addictions he has, and trying to make a new life with someone new, so, lucky for me I don’t have to worry about him fighting for custody, he gave up immediately after his bail from jail for felony choking impeding me (in front of our boys).

So, less of the life story and more about how you’ll feel. You will feel like shit, you will feel like life is over, your mind and body is going insane. However, this is the best thing…..hoping you read to the end. You’ll look at a beautiful sunset and smile. You will look at nature and be grateful. You’ll feel a peace you’ve never had. You’ll no longer be spending your days trying to fix him/her. You will obsess for awhile, it feels like years at the time. You’ll want to scream at them just “one more time” but you’ll finally accept you’re screaming into an empty void and it’s not worth your energy. You’ll feel like a fish out of water. Some days better than others. It’s not an overnight process. It’s not easy. It’s not fun. There are some days that feel like it will never get better.

I PROMISE YOU IT WILL.

It may take months, years, to finally see or feel like you did before you met them, but I promise it’s way better, it’s way easier, JUST DON’T CONTACT THEM. Fully focus on healing, and finding that sparkle you once had when you first met the blood sucking soul sucking demon. Keep going even when you don’t want to. It was never real, you deserve real.

~ quora

…honestly, moving on from this relationship was harder than saying goodbye to my dad. Almost three years later and I still feel like I can’t keep up with everything, not like I did after my dad passed away. I’m not talking about everything that’s happened this year with the septic, car, and everything else that’s happened this year – I’m talking about normal everyday chores like washing the dishes. Sometimes the dishes pile up because I just don’t feel like dealing with them. My son does help out around here, so I’m not trying to do it all myself. Sometimes, I just don’t feel like dealing with it. One thing I didn’t realize is how much it affected my son as well. So, we’re both trying to heal.

hope you have a great day!
thanks for stopping by!!